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  • Writer's pictureBret and Amber Tueller

Lonely Hearts Club

Updated: Feb 10

Not all dating experiences have a "happily-ever-after" ending

Getting to know someone romantically can leave you feeling… drained.

If you’ve ever felt like love is a battlefield, have no fear - we’ve all been there.

Sometimes bad dates happen to good people.

Enjoy a few romantic flops from our favorite people. You’re welcome, and no, we’re not sorry for sharing.

"Bre and I were on our first date. The server brought us our food and my very first bite of steak got stuck in my throat. I was not choking; but couldn't dislodge the steak. I took a drink of water but ended up discretely spitting the water back into my glass because it wouldn't go down. I quietly excused myself and went to the bathroom. After about ten minutes one of my friends came to the bathroom to check on me. He asked if we should try the Heimlich maneuver. He knocked the wind out of me two or three times to no avail. Realizing that I had no choice, we headed to the ER.


For the next hour we all sat in the waiting room. A nurse finally informed me that I needed to have a procedure to remove the obstruction and would have to be sedated, which means one of my friends needed to stay and drive me home. My date, Bre, volunteered and my buddies left to take their dates home. 

The doctor sedated me and removed the steak from my throat. The next thing I knew, I heard familiar voices saying my name and laughing. As I slowly woke up, my vision cleared and I saw my friends, my brother Dave, and Bre all smiling at me. Apparently I kept saying, 'My doctor is a terrorist, we need to call Jack Bauer!'"

I finally got Bre back home about 1:00 in the morning. I don’t remember if I walked Bre to the door that night, but we did go out again and actually dated briefly.

- That wasn't a love connection, but Jason is now happily married and his wife cuts all his steak into little pieces.

"My first official date with Amanda - When I called her on the way to pick her up she let me know that she had invited another one of her guy friends (Sam) to join us for dinner. He showed up and chatted it up all night. After dinner, he realized he forgot his wallet. Amanda ended up paying for him. True story ... awesome first date."

Jeremy ended up marrying Amanda. He now pays for the whole meal almost every time.

"Once, my date rear-ended someone so hard that I spent the next couple of months going to physical therapy for my neck and back. We worked together, so we saw each other every day ... wasn't awkward at all."

 -  Melanie is a wife and mother of three. She is a very cautious driver.

"First date with a guy and he takes me to one of those bounce house/obstacle course type places. While we were jumping I looked down and noticed that the crotch seam on my pants was coming apart. I quickly excused myself and went to the front desk to ask for a stapler to fix the tear. They had a stapler, but no staples. The best they could do was some scotch tape. I tried the best I could to close the gap, but the tape basically did nothing at all and the hole grew throughout the night. My date never said if he ever noticed, but we never went out again."

Autumn married the man of her dreams and carries staples with her everywhere she goes.

"As we left the small restaurant where we had just eaten, I noticed a car that looked just like mine being loaded up on a tow truck. It was my car. I pleaded with the guy to leave it and he made me pay $70. I had $75 total in my account, so after I paid for the car, the date was over. I took her home.

 Another time, my date and I drove to an outdoor area for a nature walk. As we walked through a big field I realized I had dropped my keys. After a long time searching, my date had to walk home alone while I continued to search. I finally found them, and my date got more of a nature walk than she wanted."

James is still searching for that perfect someone who loves cars and long walks in nature.

"My first date ever the guy's parents came with us and sat in the back seat. They recorded the whole car drive"


-Amanda didn't give him or his parents another chance

"I asked a girl out that I had seen on campus. The date went fine and we enjoyed ourselves so much that I called her back for a second date. A man answered the phone and I asked to speak to the girl. The man asked who I was. I answered and then asked who he was, to which he replied he was her husband. I immediately hung up. Several weeks later I called back to make sure it wasn't a joke played by her brother or friend. The number had been disconnected. I ran into the girl later on campus and she admitted that she was married."

Steve enjoyed it so much that now he only dates a married women - his wife.

"One of my roommates went on a date with a guy who started clipping his toenails while they were watching a movie at his apartment. It wasn't into a trash can. He just let the clippings land on the coffee table in front of them. Then he asked her if she wanted to clip HIS nails. She said no. They never went out again."


Suzanne is married and raising her beautiful kids to only clip their own nails.

"I was asked out by a guy I knew in high school and he bought us tickets to a Denver Nuggets game for our first date. I was 17 at the time and this was one of my first dates ever. I didn't have a car, so he picked me up. We drove to the game, got our seats, and made small talk as the game started.

 After about 45 minutes he excused himself to use the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he wasn't back yet and I figured there was a line at the men's room. I sat there alone through halftime and I finally went out to his car to look for him. It was gone. He had ditched me. I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure he left with some girl he'd known in the stands."

Emily has a new boyfriend who has yet to leave her stranded at a ball game.

"My date and I were in the back row seat of a large SUV on our way to an amusement park. My date began to look nautious and asked if we could pull over. I told my buddy to pull over but he was in the far left lane on the freeway. They passed back a small chip bag but it wasn't in time. My date was throwing up all over. She was trying to catch it with her hands, but it was getting everywhere. She filled up the chip bag and it overflowed. We dropped her and the other girls off at the mall to buy new clothes because it got all over hers. Then the guys drove to a gas station and used wet wipes to clean up the car. "

Spencer is now engaged to be married, just not to her.




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